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September 24 你难过,所以我难过 周末就要过去了,两天的假期不知道干了什么,这几天都有点闷闷的,可能是因为身边有好朋友专四没过,所以觉得很不是滋味.而今天,这种心情更是达到最高点...
Yaya今天本应该坐在西南政法大学的机房里考试的,结果到了那里以后才发现没带身份证.她打电话回来的时候我和Cherry一起去了吃早餐,都没带手机,所以她只好自己回来拿,然后再回去,可是到考场的时候已经8:45了,监考老师不准她再进去了......她就这样落考了......不知道为什么事情总是发生得这么巧,平时的星期天我都是9:00以后才起床的,唯有今天,我和Cherry都起得这么早......看着她落漠的样子,我连安慰的话都不会说了......
似乎专四,计算机考试的顺利通过变成了一种负担,一种痛苦,一支把我和朋友分开的利剑,我的光亮因为他们的暗淡而更加闪亮耀眼,然而也正是这耀眼的光,刺伤了我的眼睛,刺痛了我的心.每次看见身边的朋友们默默拭泪,我的第一反应不是去轻轻拍打她的背,而是本能地想要消失.我怕我的出现会让她们更加难过,怕我的笑容会给她们增加更多的负担,所以我选择沉默,选择离开.希望她们能快点坚强起来,快乐起来,没有谁能背负谁的伤,想要站起来只有靠自己!
我的双手,随时为你们打开......
September 21 大石落地 怀着忐忑的心情,查到了自己专四的成绩,70分,过了,终于......大石落地.
感觉自己好悲哀,因为一场考试,身心疲惫,却从不是出于本意.有没有机会可以做自己喜欢的事呢,即使要付出比现在多出十倍的艰辛也是愿意的啊.不过,这场胜仗还是让我很愉快,所有的忧虑都消失了,5个月漫长的等待被划上了完满的句号.
曾经很自豪地告诉身边的人,我的专业是英语.可是不知道从什么时候起,突然很后悔做出这个决定.流利的英文并不是只能出自我的嘴巴,学机械的人会说,学医学的人会说,学计算机的人也会说.而我,出了会说之外,没有任何专长.大学四年教会我思考,也许我走了错的路.是啊,不能靠英语了,但也不会放弃.只是该把重心移到法语,韩语上了.国庆过后,要去继续学韩语,不能半途而废.这也许是能挽救自己的最好方式了.虽然会很累,会很忙,既然选定了,就决不会埋怨,像学计算机二级的时候一样,坚持,直到胜利. September 20 没mood 今天本来很高兴,看见了Ra,每次和他说话都会让我很高兴,很放松,很期待他来中国的那天.
很快,因为一个叫gary的家伙,把我的好心情压了下去.也许不应该说他"冒犯"了我,如果他看到的话,那,对不起,我不modern,不fashion,不open,又怎么样呢,我还是我,还是过得很快乐,虽然有不少时间也在悲伤中度过,可是跟这些没有一点关系.因为谈到"爱",这个很久没有触碰到的话题,让我突然伤感.不否认地,我有很多爱,可是却没有可以爱的人.追求的人多了,不知道该选哪个;追求的人不见了,也再不想选了.曾经说过,如果找不到自己的爱的人,就找个爱自己的人吧,可是现在,面对爱我的人们,我没办法走上去.需要依靠,需要关怀,但是不需要妥协.我要的是快乐的爱情,阳光的爱情,不是忍让的爱情,也不是流泪的爱情.不知道那一天能不能到来,但还是会期待.
星期三终于快过去了,CCTV-CUP,我还是放弃了.老师肯定要气疯了,呵呵,没办法,我的心还是决定不让我去了,我选择听话.大三,这么快,我大三了,哎...
心情真的很不好,王菀之的声音让我听得好想哭,她的心受伤了,我的心呢... September 19 Horrible News for The World 昨天看了一则关于温室效应的新闻,哇~不看不知道,一看下一跳啊!!!
由于北极的冰融化了,北极熊被淹死;水平面的升高,迫使大洋洲的一个岛国放弃所有努力,举国迁至新西兰;气温的急剧上升,让世界大部分国家出现"热死人"现象,而这种现在会继续在出现在以后的夏季;海平面如果再升高1m,中国东部的上海就会有1/3的陆地被淹末;到2080年,也许世界会走到一个动荡不安的局面,或许离灭亡已经不远...看着这些,难道不觉得心惊吗?曾经以为这些事不会发生,至少不会发生在自己身上,可是,似乎这个机率现在很大.在我们一步步迈向老年的时候,地球也在一点点靠近死亡.
突然好害怕,我还有好多梦没完成,对未来的渴望难道真的要完全被摧毁?很多人说无所谓,反正大家一起死,反正有朋友...朋友?来来去去的朋友吗?表里不一的朋友吗?我甚至还没弄清"朋友"是什么,不知道该依赖谁呢......
今年的灾难特别多,明年呢,后年呢......2080年,见证世界的灭亡!
September 18 作业 今天又上世界民俗了,恩~~很喜欢那个老师哦~~林移刚,纯粹是喜欢听他讲课哦~~*_*! 上课讲到要讨论的课题:民俗商业化是利大于弊,还是弊大于利? 很有讨论价值的课题,所以一回到宿舍就马上开始查资料了.
答案,利大于弊.
1.民俗商业化可以更有效地保护,继承这些优秀的传统民俗文化.民俗时常的作用值得重视,一旦这些艺术大师的手艺成为"发家致富"的有效手段,文化传承问题自然能够得到很好的解决,其经济效益也能吸收更多民众投身各民族民间文化的资源保护与产业开发.
2.民俗商业化是社会主义市场经济完善和发展的一个必然,这应该视为社会经济发展和人民群众精神文化需要多元化的体现,以庙会,海会为例.这千百年来一直受到人们认同的商品与文化的集会活动,既有娱乐的成分,更多含染了民俗文化的传承和从事小商品者的谋生这样两个层面.不能否认这样一个事实:民俗文化和经济活动本身就有着割舍不断的血肉联系.
~~~~~~~thinking~~~~~~ nodding.
ok,done! September 17 早晨! ^^ wooh~~Good morning ladies and gentlemen.I'm early,so I can get worm today.咔咔咔咔咔...
又是星期天,明天又要开始奋战了.那个什么什么Unity and Diversity 的CCTV题目,我决定放弃了.感冒是好了,脑袋也清醒了,可是还是不想准备,也许本来就没有这个能力吧.翻译系只有两个出线名额,难道我会是其中之一吗? 开什么玩笑! 不想去,很单纯地说,不需要什么别的理由.
计算机二级VF下星期开考,呵呵呵(偷笑),还好我已经考过了.本来还想着考个双优拿奖学金的,虽然没拿到,至少过了.现在等待的就只有专四了,~~~每次一想到它就感觉全身麻痹,I'm so worried.即使已经告诉自己了万一没过要怎么怎么再努力,可是如果真的没过确实会对我很打击~~我是学英语的耶~~
Cherry现在很烦,我也很烦哦,那个134大叔()好像姓谭,差点都不记得了)又说要给我答复,结果等了一个星期了,什么都没有,算什么嘛,以为我好欺负啊!!! ><~~~现在做家教怎么也那么困难啊,我觉得这个能力我还是有的啊,凭什么要我等他一个星期啊,要不是因为想去学韩语,你求我去教你我都不去呢!!!
这么快就到中午了? Yaya快回来,我等你的凉面~~~
September 15 题目 那个"CCTV-Cup"的鬼题目终于出来了,Unity and Diversity,都不知道该从何下手.上网查了查才知道原来很多"天涯沦落人"啊,抱怨声彼此起伏~~~
感冒好像加重了呢,呜呜呜~~~脑袋乱得很,怎么想嘛,想来想去都是那几个例子,还都被别人引用过的,郁闷~~~不想去了.要不是去昨天去系办就不会被辅导员抓住了,这下可好,I'am caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.星期三就初选了,可是我现在连稿都没有呢,还要脱稿,哎...
奋战 or 放弃 ?
Puzzling...
September 14 Confusing I saw Miss Yang today,and she gave me a surprise that she want me to go for the oral compitition.Well,is it a good thing for me? I know it's a opportunity to show something,but do I have that "something" to show?
The oral compitition is a difficult task,it's named "CCTV Cup",held by Beking Unversity,one of the most famous unversities in the nation.In my mind,every compitition held in the capital is the most authoritative and admiring, and at the same time the most challenged.Maybe I am lack of confidence,I don't think I can do a job.To me,I juat take it as a practice,but not a contest.Tomorrow morning,10 a.m,I will meet the training teacher,just wait and try.
Speaking of the oral English,it reminds me of one of our Miss, met in this morning,who teaches us how to read articles from American and British newspapers and periodicals.I don't have a good impression on her,for her voice was so low that I cannot catched what she was saying.It can illuminate taht she is not good at English speaking.Though she made everyone in the class know that she had got her Art Master in Sichuan University,she still can't conceal all the blemishes.
Today's Thursday,my first week is going to pass...expecting theweekend.^_^ September 13 My First French Class Wooh~~so many students gathered here,however,I still felt excited,my first French class was going to begin.
It's quite different from English,though the 26 letters are the same,the pronunciation are disparate.How funny it is! but it is easy to make mistakes.I've learnt English for about 10 years,I'm used to pronounce the letters, the words in the "English" way,but now I have to change it.Even the teacher said it would be hard at the beginning,eapecially for the English majors.well~anyway,I love it.
I don't know whether I can learn it well.by the time I graduate,I will have learnt English for 12 years.There's no doubt that it's really a long time,but so what,I still can't say I am good at English,I just reach a level that I can communicate with English speakers,I still have a lot to learn,to study.Then,what about the French?With only 1 year's study,maybe I just have the ability to read something trivial,to say some daily words.
I still remember the reason why I made up my mind to choose French as my second foreign language.I like Europe,I hope I can go there one day,I hope I can talk to people there.Yes,I'm aware of French is difficult to learn,but I don't care,because I know I will try my best,and I'll never fail once I've endeavored.
Try my best! September 08 Tired Break up again.Now I'm tired.
Maybe I'm still not aware of what kind of person fits me,so though I keep looking for him,I get wrong and wrong again.The guys I met are ok,but just don't fit me,I can't make myself happy,that's why we always end up with parting.
How rediculious! Almost everyone knows me believes that I can own my sweety love,but things always go to the other said.However,single is not so bad,and I really enjoy this monent now,compared with being with my ex.
After the new term begins,I can finally concentrate on my subject.Nothing will distract me.I eager to learn something,to get more expierence.I decide to find a part-time job,maybe a tutor.I like the busy life but with less stress,I like doing what I appreciate but not what others tell me to,I wanna to have a def life style and I'm trying to work it out.I know there's a lot of things that I can't control,just like my life,my caree,my love...but I know at least I can tell myself I'm not the worst,I'm sure the better tomorrow is waiting for me,as long as I'm going ahead for it. |
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