"I wish you a great wonderful life for ever. I really mean it."

"Thank you for your love these years. I was so happy to meet you, love you, care you. I know I am not a good lover that cannot be by your side to protect you, support you. We cannot meet even once a month, I'm so sorry............"

"I love you, even thought you are not mine any more. "

"To rent a house near yours, see you on and off work, cook for you, or pick you up late. I can find a job in SD or just live for some months.....I hope to get you closer to let you know I care you, no matter where I am."

.....................

I ask myself, what if he is the one?  We still said breaking up, even though he really is.

2005---2009, 4 years, from we met, to loved, till broke up. I cannot tell my heart. I still can feel his breathe, his hug and kiss, his smell, gaze, hand, clothes..........I can clearly remember his words, remember the movie we watched on TV, remember even the rain in ZH. There's no ending for us both in happiness and sadness. Every time when talking about the futrue, we remain dumb.

I envy those who gain love so easy, they take their love for granted, take marriage for granted, and have their own family, their lovely babies. What we can do is just wait. Endless waiting. Till we met our deadline, met time to say goodbye. Let somebody love you for me ever after. We have been over lucky to have each other beyond all those applauses and foes. Without me, you will obtain more luck on career. And without you, I will try to get rid of my sighs. We start new life together, with love in deepest heart.

Aven, take care, and good bye.